Then suddenly, Tango became unenjoyable and frustrating because of the constant corrections from dance partners. And often men are saying contradicting things. After a while I wanted to say, "Just dance."

Another, related, observation, is the pushing and grabbing because the woman does not know the lead, and the lack of acknowledgement of the level of dance of the woman. I think this could be called bullying.

After reading some of the Tango websites, it seems that, although the man leads and the woman follows, Tango is a mutual and reciprocal dance [the quality or state of being reciprocal: mutual dependence, action, or influence.]

Both the man and the woman have equal responsibilities and want equal satisfaction and enjoyment from Tango. What Tango seems to offer is the sharing, for that moment, of a special emotional alchemy, that can be accomplished if both partners feel equally at ease with the steps of Tango and with each other.

neophyte

Dear Neophyte,
Indeed, Tango can be a frustrating experience for beginners. I have heard similar comments to those you have made from other beginning women dancers. On the other hand, I have never heard a man make a similar compliant. It may be because, in general, women are more sensitive and/or polite than men. I know it is not because men are, in general, better beginning dancers.

Although most suggestions or "constructive" comments made by men are (I hope) made with the best of intentions, you have pointed out something I don't believe most men realize. That is, it can be irritating to be constantly told by different men how to do something especially if the comments are unsolicited. There is a discussion of "advice giving" in the Dance Etiquette section of TangoScene. Men, it might be worth a read through.

"Man-handling" or "bullying" as you put it, is clearly just plain uncalled for and poor form. You might refrain from dancing with the "bullies". Maybe they will get the message.

If male dancers see you dance with a well-respected good leader with whom you are able to do the moves, it may occur to the other male dancers that just possibly the "problems" are not entirely yours.

I hope you will persevere,
Editor